Where were you on the night of August 22? I got an alibi. I was at the Community House with Denise "Dell" Harbin and the whole cast of "Hollywood Confidential."

It was 2007, in a Perkins Restaurant, that Dell Harbin first shared the show with me that had the working title "The Detectives and the Schoolgirls." Rich in innuendo, sight gags and puns, Dell envisioned it as a show perfect for Cherry Grove's combinations of talent. A mere two years later, that dream became reality, thanks to the Arts Project of Cherry Grove (APCG).

Casting occurred in mid-summer 2009 and the vision of a 1940s film noir jewel heist-with a twist-began production. Six dashing zoot-suited detectives, all brothers (of different mothers) would solve the crime of the theft of the Harry Winston Family Jewels. Grove-flavored themes and variations abounded-boys dressed as girls, girls dressed as boys, the school is the Belvedere School for Girls and Girls Only (doubly funny since all of the girls really were boys, with only one exception, and of the "girls" was a boy named Sue!). When the theft happens, Ms. Mamie Arm must keep it under wraps for the reputation of her school! Or is there another reason...?

Star turns were included for a number of performers. From the beginning of the show, the arch humor flowed-Grove Homecoming Queen Urban Sprawl was the Belvedere's Homecoming Queen and the jewels were snatched from her lovely throat. Philomena was Ms. M'Arm, the-you guessed it-School Marm and her right hand person was Tutti, played by Tony Bondi. Already you knew the show would be amazing! The students were introduced in a splashy Hollywood type number, revolving around a hula hoop and colorful chandelles, including Bob Verbrugge as Frances Gumm, Eric Coyne as Susan Ruth (a fictional niece of the Babe, and also in homage to our Freedner twins, Susan and Ruth), Robin Kradles as Veronica Lake, Clara Bogetti as Ann Miller in her Cherry Grove debut, and Angela Mercy as Amnesha Biryani, Indian exchange student. Bob also had a very droll version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," complete with Toto and a gay flag later in the show! The detectives were introduced and they were Dell Harbin as Falcon Lizard-pronounced Lez-árd, Sherri Rase as Brother Leo, SallyAnn Piacentino as Brother Max, John Philip in his APCG debut as Brother Sam, Bruce-Michael Gelbert as Brother Johnny and Fran Reinhardt in her Cherry Grove stage debut as Brother Louie. A string of dance numbers established the detectives including "Brothers," a variation on the drag queen canard "Sisters," and also "Speaking French," from "Lucky Stiff," where Lynne Tunderman was the femme fatale teaching the audience what it means to be French! The plot then thickened as Falcon and "his" brothers appeared in each of the numbers in some form or other-Max singing a duet, "A song that goes like that," from "Spamalot," with Veronica Lake, and Max and Leo strumming guitars and backing up Susan Ruth's "A Boy Named Sue" and appearing in Amnesha's "Jai Ho" dance number, from "Slumdog Millionaire," to close Act One.

[BMG: Dell conceived of and built a spectacular reversible stage set, complete with columns and glass bricks, with the pink Belvedere School-almost as over-the-top as the Grove's dream palazzo, Belvedere Guesthouse for Men-and Men Only-on one side, and the no-nonsense Falcon Lizard et Frères office, on the other.

Choreograher Brett Oberman, who, throughout the show, made terpsichoreans even of those of us who, kicking and screaming, insisted that we won't dance, don't ask us, created the marvelous opening-and-closing-of-Act-One production numbers, the Busby Berkeley-inspired "You ought to be in pictures" and Bollywood-inspired "Jai Ho," for those with greater aptitude for graceful movement.

With a skeleton stage crew, all of us, guided by Lee Sharmat and Lynne, helped schlep scenery on and off. And tech crew Matt "Aida Herring" Baney, Alison Brackman, Mike Romanelli, and Wendy Lewis kept us audible and well lit.
Susan Ruth and the Johnny Cash song represented not only operatic bass Eric's drag debut, but also his country music debut. One community wag pointed out to him that the former is a slippery slope, which made me wonder, how long until he runs for Empress?]
Special guest appearances were made by Grove favorites like Bella and Mella-in her stage debut-as The Twins, doing (what else) "Sisters!"-here's where we learned that these "twins" are Lizards, or Lez-árds, as well, but with Italian mothers, rather than French-and by Barbara Hirsch and Linda Dickerman, reprising their popular Nelson Eddy and Jeannette MacDonald "Indian Love Call."

[BMG: Linda and Barbara also brought the show home as Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, sporting blow-up horses and wishing us "Happy Trails."]

Act Two began with Tutti stirring up the audience with, first, the "Hokey Pokey," followed by a goofy banana bit featuring the "real" twins, Ruth and Susan (which one is Top Banana, and which is Second Banana?) with Barbara as Orange and Linda as The Jerk (Soda, that is), asking the bananas to split, and orange you glad she found Barbara more ap-peel-ing? Tutti then regaled us with a Charo song really to ignite the mood.

Demi-Tasse guest starred as Gloria Swanson, and was followed by Bruce-Michael and John in a tender rendition of "What Can You Lose," where we learned of tragic forbidden love-never upon to be acted.
[BMG: Denise first brought the Stephen Sondheim song, sung by Mandy Patinkin and Madonna in the film "Dick Tracy," to my attention in the spring, and her original idea was that this unrequited love song/anti love song would become a love song for two bear-types, John DeMarco, say, and me. As we grew closer to performance time, Ken Woodhouse, who made a splash in John's show "Hollywood Bound," singing Billy Bigelow's "Soliloquy," from "Carousel," and playing doctor to Robin Kradles' Adelaide, in "Adelaide's Lament," from "Guys and Dolls," was enlisted to play my unrequited/anti-love interest, but had to bow out for work-related reasons. Brandon Cutrell was my duet partner-elect for about three days, before he got a job offer he couldn't resist for the night of the show. So hard to keep a man around here! Finally, Denise drafted John, with whom she'd worked in Island Rep's "Sordid Lives" last season, as my stage significant-or-not half-brother-shades of Siegmund and Sieglinde!-and Music Director Dan Daly patiently rehearsed us, and the others, in our songs, over and over again, until we could almost sing them in our sleep.

John also played John F. Kennedy in a scene with Coco as Marilyn Monroe and Lola as Jackie Bouvier, later Kennedy, later Onassis.

Demi-Tasse made a beautifully frightening Norma Desmond, and her song, from Andrew Lloyd Webber's show "Sunset Boulevard," was "With one look."]

Since these were the 1940s, Andrew Resto, in his Grove stage debut, tap dancing to "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," and the Drew Sisters, our Freedners, in a '40s medley they cooked up Dan Daly, spearheaded the effort for World War Two support.

[BMG: The Freedners, troupers that they are, had just lost their 94-year old mother, Frieda, after a long period of illness, but refused to let down their thespian colleagues, and, despite personal grief, honored their commitment to perform in the show.]

These were followed by a sexy Tango by Lee and Clara, who began dancing as boys and ended up as grrls....mmmmm, HOT! The first show featured a very special guest, when Porsche gave us her rendition of Shirley Bassey's song "History Repeating." MROWWWRRR!

Detective Leo then wooed Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons (the most wonderful Wendy and Tim "Timothea" Webster in highest drag!), both at the same time, to the dulcet strains of "Sway." The rivals ended up in a compromising position with one another!

The dénouement arrived with a revealing reveal as, first, three schoolgirls of interest were frisked, then a dark horse suspect was unmasked-Arthur Cohen, also responsible for the theater curtains, was the schoolgirl/jewel thief and revealed that he knew we really wanted Jeanne Skinner in the role. The detectives doffed their hats and the schoolgirls bowed their heads for a moment of tribute to our most recently lost grande dame of the stage [-and USPS]. But did we get the right thief?

The detectives hooked up romantically with schoolgirls, and strolled to "Hey Daddy," each girl getting a special gift from her "Daddy." They ambled off, leaving just a bit of mystery behind them.

[BMG: My 'gift' to 'my' schoolgirl, Amnesha, was a pair of handcuffs-hey, what else would a dippy dick think was an appropriate response to a young girl's request for bracelets? Sherri's, for Eric, was a pair of his cherished argyle socks.]

Ms. M'Arm, we discovered, was "Back in Business" in one of the greatest numbers of the show, also from "Dick Tracy." Philomena showed her many accomplishments, changing behind a small screen on stage and unveiling a fabulous gown and mink, and the "real" jewels. Ms. M'Arm has had her crafty girls duplicating Harry Winston Family Jewels, but Falcon was aware-he'd stolen the earrings and asked Ms. M'Arm to help him hide a secret of his own.

[BMG: Hint: he finds our flapjack-flipping firemen oh soooo handsome.]

This show had action aplenty, especially in the first act, which audience members felt flew by. The numbers featured the talents of so many Grove favorites. The writing had bits where some would laugh out loud [especially Panzi], while others will get the clever jokes as they think about different bits during the week. One thing was clear though-both the audience and the cast had a heckuva great time!