Long ago-not long enough ago, in fact-teachers' lives could be ruined by rumors of lesbianism, people spoke in italics in fraught, heightened melodramas, and of course, queers killed themselves in the final reel. Well, nobody knows how to milk those italics for all they're worth better than the queens of Shim Mamsir Productions, featuring the crème de la crème of New York and Fire Island cross-dressing and transgender performers, and they did so in a staged reading of a familiar drama that dared not speak its name, that was, somehow, billed as "Mayo on Your Breakfast at Tiffany's," at Bowery Poetry Club on April 29. Shim Mamsir and friends played this drama-of how a naughty girl's malicious gossip, amplified by her misguided grandmother's actions, can, by innuendo, inference, implication, and unfounded hints of salaciousness, bring down the lives of innocent people-for laughs, at first, but soon few were laughing, as the cast teased the pain and pathos out of the overwritten lines.

Under the direction of Mimi Imfurst AKA Braden Chapman, Miss Sweetie and Bianca Leigh moved us as dedicated teachers, capably running a school for girls, until a spoiled, vindictive girl, played with flair by Bianca Del Rio, lies to her gullible grandmother, a muddle of good intentions and bad faith as limned by Norell Gardner, and forces the teachers to defend themselves publicly against slander, as one girl after another's parents pull them out of the school, and look inside themselves to see if what's been said about them is true. Lavinia Co-Op, veteran of the British troupe Bloolips, played the flighty aunt of Sweetie's character, carelessly flinging around the word "unnatural," overheard in a fight with her niece by eavesdropping students, portrayed by Eve Starr and Paige Turner, who are, alas, Bianca Del Rio's character's friends. Bossy Bianca also had some dirt on the shy girl, played by Dallas Dubois, and used her to further her heinous scheme. David Conrad Brouillard played Bianca Leigh's doctor fiancé, who tried hard to rise about the calumny, but Bianca wisely dismissed him, knowing there would always be lingering doubts, poisoning their relationship. Gusty Winds was the grandmother's housekeeper, with more insight into the wicked granddaughter than her own relative had. Blackie O was another of the school's girls, diligently working on her Latin. And Rami Paulis doubled as the narrator, setting the scenes for us, and the deliveryman, looking strangely at the strange women who've been at the center of such a notorious storm.

Sweetie showed no mercy for Lavinia, who returned after having evaded testifying in court on the women's behalf, as Bianca Leigh showed none for Norell, whose remorse and willingness to offer "a public apology, an explanation," once she realized her granddaughter lied, was clearly a case of too little, too late. These experienced actors made the creaky work work-they just couldn't help themselves.

Having showed us what happens when children are given their hour to do dirty deeds, Shim Mamsir next tackles the adventures of four friends, who enjoy shopping, cosmos, shoes, and sex in New York City, on May 27 at 8 p.m. at 308 Bowery, between Houston and Bleecker Streets, and looks forward to presenting a first fully staged production in September. Check www.shimmamsir.com for details.